Who am I?
Where do I even begin? I’m Dee and first and foremost I am a confident (most of the time) and driven woman.
I’m 58 and I’m a photographer, I’m a global business coach to other photographers creating their own businesses, and I own a construction industry HR & Recruitment consultancy (long story). I’ve self published a few books, a goal setting journal and I’ve created some relaxation and concentration music. I also have a self-funded foundation, Kids4Change, which supports a community school and surrounding villages in Zambia. Phew, it sounds a lot when I write it all down.
Everything I do is about people. It’s about serving and enriching other people. And I believe that all roads have led to here…
From a very young age I was self conscious and lacked confidence, and I didn’t know who or how I should be. From the tender age of 8, I was called ‘fat’ by family members and it changed my life, it hurt my life. I’ve spent more of my life in an injured headspace than I have in my now happy, confident and fulfilled space.
I went to Barbados with my mum and brother when I was 8 - a normal, bubbly little girl, and I came back feeling self conscious and like I wasn’t good enough. I was conscious of my little body and I started comparing myself, and I learned to diet.
I went through my life skilfully hiding away, by being there for other people and keeping the focus on them - so much so that I added another layer - I thought I was uninteresting. I always listened to people around me just talking and talking and talking about themselves, and I felt myself fading into insignificance.
Don’t worry, it’s not doom and gloom, in contrast to that I’ve been blessed throughout my life. I have a wonderful family, inspiring hubby and two amazing and talented kids (Niall and Becca).
Like I said, all roads have led to here…… Even though I knew from my early teens that I wanted to work for myself, and achieved it, I was never comfortable. I was always self conscious and constantly internally comparing myself to others, and it impacted the way I showed up for myself and my business. Especially as I got older.
In my late 40s/early 50s I truly believed that I was being judged for my size, and as a photographer I was convinced people would rather pay the younger slimmer person. (I can’t believe I’m actually saying all this).
I compensated by working extra hard throughout my career, I’ve been over generous with my time and with money - like I was trying to prove beyond reasonable doubt that I’m actually lovely. I wanted people to notice me without noticing me. Especially the people closest to me - my friends and family.
This behaviour pattern of mine just was to my detriment. It just encouraged people to be less and less invested in me, and I became less and less confident and doubted almost everything about me.
I’ve been through my own transformation…
I needed to snap out of it, after all, the people around me figured I was this confident, vivacious self-assured woman who has everything. And I’ve spent years crippled inside: constantly telling myself I wasn’t good enough, everyone else was better, younger and slimmer than me, even terrified to charge properly for my work and my confidence was through the floor.
My journey of self discovery was amazing. I realised I was the one standing in my way, and I was the only one who could make me happy.
With clarity, confidence and fulfilment I found any and everything is possible. I was showing up effortlessly in my life and in my businesses and it felt good. I felt good.
All roads have led me to here: my journey and my love of working with people. I know that this is my calling: to help other women like me, driven and seemingly happy and confident, who are filled with self doubt and quietly lack confidence, who feel unfulfilled and want more.
We are designed for great things and the next step is to take ownership and go with it. Nobody’s permission is needed other than our own.
I love my life and I want to help you feel the same too.
