Break Free from Self-Doubt: Learn to Trust Yourself Again
Self-doubt is one of the biggest barriers standing between you and the happy, successful and fulfilled life you want. It creeps up on you before big decisions, holds you back from opportunities, and makes you question whether you’re “good enough” or “ready.” If you’ve ever felt stuck because you don’t trust yourself, it’s perfectly ok (for a while) and you’re not alone - but you absolutely cannot stay here if you want this life full of happiness, success and fulfilment.
I know this because I’ve been there.
There was a time when I questioned whether I was capable of starting my own business. I doubted whether people would take me seriously, whether I had anything valuable to offer, and whether I was just setting myself up for failure. But here’s what I learned: self-doubt doesn’t disappear on its own - you have to challenge it.
If you’re tired of second-guessing yourself and letting self-doubt dictate your choices, this blog is for you. Let’s talk about why self-doubt holds you back and, more importantly, how to break free from it.
Why Self-Doubt is Keeping You Stuck
Self-doubt isn’t just an annoying thought - it’s a habit. It shows up as:
✔ Overthinking every decision
✔ Not taking action until everything is perfect
✔ Comparing yourself to others and feeling left behind or not good enough
✔ Avoiding taking action because you’re afraid of failure or judgement
It’s easy to assume that self-doubt means you’re not ready, not good enough, or lacking something. But the truth? Self-doubt is simply your brain trying to keep you safe.
We’re wired to avoid risk and discomfort because, way way back in time, that’s how we survived. But in our world now, playing it ‘safe’ means missing out on incredible opportunities. Just because your brain tells you you’re not ready - that doesn’t make it true.
The Myths About Confidence (And Why You’re More Capable Than You Think)
One of the biggest reasons we struggle with self-doubt is because we misunderstand confidence. Let’s clear up a few common myths:
Myth 1: Confident People Have No Fear
Confidence isn’t about feeling fearless - it’s about taking action despite fear. Every successful person you admire has felt self-doubt at some time or other. The difference? They don’t let it stop them.Myth 2: Confidence is Something You’re Born With
Confidence isn’t a personality trait; it’s a skill. You build it through experience, just like learning to ride a bike. The more you do something, the more confident you become.Myth 3: You Need External Validation to Feel Worthy
Relying on approval from others will always leave you feeling uncertain, and it will take you away from owning where you’re at. True confidence comes from knowing your own worth, not waiting for someone else to confirm it.
How to Break Free from Self-Doubt and Trust Yourself Again
Self-doubt won’t magically disappear, but you can take steps to silence it. Here’s how:
1. Recognise When Self-Doubt Shows Up
Self-doubt often disguises itself as ‘being realistic’ or ‘not wanting to fail.’ Start paying attention to the moments when you hold yourself back. Are you hesitating to speak up? Are you avoiding new opportunities? Are you delaying taking action? Awareness is the first step.
2. Reframe Your Inner Dialogue
Instead of thinking, “I’m not ready,” shift your mindset to, “I am learning and growing.” The way you talk to yourself matters, so be kind and positive. Stop assuming you need to be perfect before you take action.
3. Collect Evidence of Your Wins
Self-doubt convinces you that you’re not capable - but is that really true? Start keeping a confidence journal where you write down moments when you were brave, accomplished something, or proved yourself wrong. Your brain needs proof that you’re capable.
4. Take Small, Brave Steps
You don’t need giant leaps of faith to build confidence - just mini-actions.
✔ If you’re afraid of putting yourself out there, post one small thing today.
✔ If speaking up scares you, practice in a low-pressure situation, or leave someone a voice note.
✔ If you’re worried about failure, take one small step forward anyway and see what happens
Confidence grows through action, not waiting until you feel ready.
5. Stop Waiting for Perfect
Perfectionism is one of the biggest killers of confidence. It convinces you that if something isn’t flawless, it’s not worth doing, and you’ll be judged for it. But ‘done’ is better than ‘perfect’. You learn by doing, and every imperfect action is a step toward growth.
Trusting Yourself is Non-Negotiable
As women, especially over 40, we’ve been conditioned to second-guess ourselves. To shrink. To wait until we have all the answers before taking action. But that needs to stop.
Self-trust isn’t about knowing everything - t’s about believing in your ability to figure things out. You have decades of experience, wisdom, and resilience. It’s time to stop doubting yourself and start backing yourself.
What’s One Small Step You Can Take Today?
I challenge you: pick one action today that challenges your self-doubt. It doesn’t have to be big, just something that moves you forward.
And if this resonated with you, stay tuned - next time, we’re talking about "Confidence at Any Age: Why 40+ is Just the Beginning." You won’t want to miss it!
