The Truth About Impostor Syndrome (And How to Silence It for Good)
If you’ve ever achieved something great - and then immediately felt like a fraud - you’re not alone. That creeping sense of doubt, the voice that whispers “Who do you think you are?”… it’s called Impostor Syndrome, and it affects more women than you might think.
And here’s the most frustrating part: it tends to show up just when we’re stepping up. Just when we’re growing, expanding, doing something brave.
So let’s talk about it. Because you don’t need to keep second-guessing yourself, and you certainly don’t need to let impostor syndrome hold you back from becoming the woman you’re meant to be.
What Is Impostor Syndrome, Really?
Impostor syndrome is a psychological pattern where you doubt your skills, talents, or accomplishments, and have a persistent fear of being exposed as a “fraud.”
It’s that feeling that says:
“I got lucky.”
“They’re going to find out I’m not actually that good.”
“I’m not qualified enough to be doing this.”
It’s not about being unqualified. It’s not about lacking experience. It’s about having all of that - and still believing it’s not enough.
And for women - particularly those of us in our 40s, 50s, 60s - it can be deeply ingrained. Because for decades we’ve bought into the notion that we must downplay our strengths, not take up too much space, and definitely not come across as “too confident.”
Why Impostor Syndrome Hits Women Over 40 So Hard
If you’re a woman in her 40s, 50s or beyond, you’ve probably spent years juggling roles: mother, partner, carer, employee, leader, business owner - and doing a damn good job of it, too.
But even with all that lived experience, we still find ourselves thinking:
“Maybe I don’t really know what I’m doing…”
Here’s why it happens:
We’ve spent years seeking validation – from employers, partners, family, society.
Perfectionism runs deep – many of us grew up equating achievement with worth.
We’re often one of the few – especially in male-dominated spaces, it’s easy to feel like you don’t belong.
We’ve been conditioned to shrink – to be humble, modest, quiet about our success.
But here’s the truth:
You cannot build a fulfilled, confident life if you keep believing you’ve “just been lucky.”
It’s time to rewrite the story.
The Five Lies of Impostor Syndrome (And The Truth You Need Instead)
Lie #1: I have to know everything to be credible.
Truth: No one knows everything. Your value is in your experience, perspective, and ability to figure things out as you go.
Lie #2: If I make a mistake, I’ll be exposed.
Truth: Mistakes are part of growth. Making them doesn’t mean you’re a fraud - it means you’re human. It means you have something to learn and pass on to others.
Lie #3: Other people are more qualified than me.
Truth: Most people are winging it more than you realise. And even if they are more experienced, that doesn’t cancel out your unique contribution.
Lie #4: If I were really good, this would feel easier.
Truth: Growth feels uncomfortable. Stretching into new territory doesn’t mean you’re not good enough - it means you’re evolving.
Lie #5: I got here by chance.
Truth: You got here because of who you are and what you’ve done. It’s that simple.
How to Silence Impostor Syndrome (For Good)
Let’s be clear: you won’t eliminate self-doubt overnight. But you can learn to manage it, challenge it, and stop letting it run the show.
Here’s how:
1. Start Noticing the Voice
Become aware of when impostor syndrome shows up. Is it when you’re about to launch something new? Speak on a stage? Put yourself forward for an opportunity?
Awareness is the first step to changing the narrative. Never trust the internal words of doubt.
2. Name It for What It Is
Say it out loud:
“This is impostor syndrome. It’s not the truth - it’s a pattern.”
That tiny moment of separation helps you take back control.
3. Keep a ‘Brag’ File
Every time you receive a compliment, get great feedback, hit a milestone or have a small ‘win’ - write it down. Keep a folder in your phone or a notebook and revisit it when doubt creeps in.
Evidence trumps emotion. Remind yourself that your success didn’t just happen by chance.
4. Say Yes Anyway
Impostor syndrome will try to convince you to wait until you feel more ready. More qualified. More “perfect.”
Ignore it. Say yes anyway and figure out the ‘how’ later. You build confidence by doing the thing, not by waiting for your brain to get on board.
5. Surround Yourself with Expansive Women
Spend time with women who challenge you to think bigger. Women who lift you. Women who are also showing up, doing brave things, and pushing past the same fears.
Because when you're surrounded by people who are playing big, you start to believe it's possible for you too.
The Bottom Line? You Belong in Every Room You Step Into
Impostor syndrome doesn’t go away by accident. It goes away when you start choosing to believe in yourself more than you believe the lies.
You have earned your place at the table. You are not here by luck. You’re here because you’ve worked for it, grown through it, and you’ve got something valuable to offer.
And here’s the thing:
You don’t need to be perfect. You just need to be present. You just need to show up - for yourself.
So, what’s one thing you’re going to stop waiting to feel “ready” for?
Let’s Keep the Conversation Going
If this resonated with you, you’re not alone - and you don’t have to navigate it alone either. I work with entrepreneurial and driven women over 40 who are ready to ditch the doubt and show up fully for their next chapter.
